In the Twinkling.....

“I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dropped it carelessly, Ah! I didn't know, I held opportunity.”

~Hazel Lee

            “In the twinkling of an eye…..”  Aaahhhh…….I’ve held many moments in my hands and they have seemingly slipped by.  It is one thing to dwell on the past, however, it’s important to not let those who have gone on be forgotten.  Never forget.  It truly is more than just a common slogan.  Choosing to remember those that have traveled from one life to another.  Holding on.  Letting go.  We need to do a little of both……and both are equally difficult to do.

      I’m rambling all over the place tonight and choosing not to really edit this….so bear with me!  I have been known by my friends to be somewhat of a pack rat….a hoarder.  No, not to the extent I need to go on a television show for an intervention, but there is something about each thing that has come into my possession. They are linked to those who gave it to me, or used those things at one time.  A time that might have seemed simpler, yet really wasn’t. 

      I’ve said ‘so long’ to many friends and family along these 39 years of mine.  Instead of burying the memories of long ago, I let them linger in my every day life.  It is a fine line between continuously grieving and honoring one’s life.  A reminder of the brevity of life, this wondrous gift we’ve been given on this earth for only a certain amount of time. 

      I guess I am particularly nostalgic today because it is a day a small friend should have been celebrating his birthday.  He hasn’t had a birthday on this earth since 2005 because someone took his life in the summer of 2006.  Those who knew him, knew his smile and his zest for life…and FOOD!  He loved to eat!  His life goes on in another world, but I miss him being here with us.  It’s a reminder we need to love and cherish those around us as much as we can while we still have the opportunity.  Life is short.  And yet…..it never ends.  I’m thankful my heart is safe in my Creator’s hands.  I’m thankful He is patient as I struggle with the Why’s.  I’m thankful He is big enough to handle my sorrows.  I’m thankful this little guy is sitting in His lap tonight celebrating his birthday in Heaven. I’m thankful life goes on and I will be reunited with those that have passed on.  

       Christmas is a time that is often difficult to get through for many of us, including myself.  Celebrating my Lord’s birth gets wound and tangled in the web of the memories and the pain….pain in losing my sister many years ago, a time for others to remember their loved ones that are no longer able to grace us with their physical presence.  It’s ok to remember…but not to get stuck in the pain.  So, we move on….yet we hold on….and choose to remember and be inspired by those who made a difference in our lives.   And who’s made the biggest difference in my life?  Jesus.  He not only passed through this life, he died, and he rose again, never to die again.  That is the hope I live with.  He helps me go on.  He can help you too.  You never get ‘over’ these things.  But, with His help, He helps you move through them.  It’s a process.

       So, it’s not necessarily holding on to the past, but it is choosing to remember those that shared our lives for a mere breadth of a second.  Acknowledging they made an impact, and they were loved.  Let them still teach us today.  If you listen closely, you can still hear them.  Don’t shut them out, don’t pretend they never existed, just to shield yourself from the pain.  Open the flood gates, and if you cry, you cry.  It means you’re alive.  Embrace it.

“There is a beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but who they are.” 

~ Brennan Manning